When should you give your child a first phone ?

It is the question that comes up every year as kids enter year 6 or 7: "all their friends have one, when do we get them one?". Without injunctions, here are concrete benchmarks to decide calmly, and the alternatives that allow you to delay without frustrating.

Why the question comes earlier and earlier

The average age of the first smartphone has dropped under 10. Social pressure starts in year 5: "everyone has Snap, everyone has TikTok". As a parent, you hesitate between giving in not to isolate the child and resisting to protect them. There is no universal right answer — but there are benchmarks that help you decide.

Expert benchmarks

Child psychiatrists, like Serge Tisseron (the 3-6-9-12 rule), agree on a framework: no personal smartphone before age 12, no social networks before age 13 (which is also the legal age). Important nuance: this is about the personal smartphone. A simple phone to call parents from age 10-11 is another topic, much more defensible.

Signs it is still too early

The child still cannot handle frustration without a meltdown. They lie or cheat to gain screen time. They have trouble falling asleep, focusing, finishing a book. They withdraw when on a screen. If several of these signs are present, giving a smartphone will make things worse, not better.

Simple phone or smartphone?

For 10-12 year olds, a basic phone (calls + SMS, no internet) covers the real need: reaching the child after school, reassuring them when they come home alone. The smartphone, on the other hand, adds nothing essential at this age — but opens access to content the child is not mature enough to handle (social networks, short videos, competitive games).

Delay without conflict

Three levers work: holding a clear and explained framework (not "no because no"), valuing what else the child can do (responsibilities, outings, personal objects), and not being alone — coordinating with other class parents changes everything. The collective "all our kids wait until year 9" is a hundred times more effective than individual negotiation.

Offer something other than a screen

At 10-12, the child often wants an object "of their own", personal, that they control alone. It is this need for autonomy that must be fed, not necessarily the screen. A dedicated audio speaker, a podcast player, a camera, a simple watch: all alternatives that give that feeling of autonomy without opening the door to social networks.

And with Compagnon ?

Compagnon is a voice-only smart speaker designed for kids aged 8 to 15. No screen, no free browsing, no social networks. The child has their object "of their own" that they control autonomously: stories, podcasts, languages, homework, meditation. The parent keeps control of universes and durations from the app. A gift that takes the place of a first personal object, without opening the smartphone Pandora's box.

Educational memo

What is the right age for a first smartphone?

The consensus among child psychiatrists: not before age 12 for a personal smartphone, and not before age 13 for social networks (which is also the legal sign-up age).

Smartphone or simple phone?

For 10-12 year olds, a basic phone (calls and SMS only) meets the real need — being able to reach the child — without opening access to networks and the information flood they are not mature enough to handle.

How to delay without creating conflict?

Three levers: a clear and explained framework, valuing what else the child can do, and coordinating with other parents in the class. Collective action is more effective than individual negotiation.

How much screen time at 10-12?

Serge Tisseron's benchmark: no more than 1 hour per day cumulative across all screens at this age, and never in the morning before school or in the evening before sleep.

What about a phone for school?

If the child comes home alone or uses transport, a simple phone is legitimate. In middle school, use is banned in class — so a smartphone only serves the playground.

What alternative to offer instead?

Any personal object that feeds autonomy without opening access to networks: audio speaker, podcast player, camera, simple watch, bike. The goal is to meet the need for autonomy, not the need for a screen.

Go further

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An alternative to the smartphone that feeds the child's autonomy.